Review: Elysium the Movie

Elysium barely makes the cut  to be considered even a grade B movie. Its storyline is weak, dumb and predictable,  its characters are extremely stereotypical and one dimensional. On top of that it is very bad science fiction. If the film offered up some humor much of this might be forgiven. Sadly it doesn't offer a shred.

Following some childhood flashbacks, we're dropped off in Los Angeles in the year 2154.  Everyone lives in slums. Most appear to have no motivation to do anything to better their situation. Max Da Costa (Matt Daemon) gets his arm broken when he cracks a lame joke to an overlord humanoid robot policeman.

The super wealthy have built themselves a paradise satellite, Elysium, where they live in security - away from the masses. One of their leaders, Jessica Delacourt (Jodie Foster), is dissatisfied with her lot in life and is plotting to make a big move upward.

Elysium needs things from the Earth. So they run factories on Earth to produce essentials. Max has a job in one of these.  He assembles humanoid robots. One day the production line is being held up by a problem at Max's station. So a supervisor orders Max to do something stupid and risky. He does this - and what do you know - he gets seriously injured. Max has received a lethal dose of radiation that will kill him in 5 days. Carlyle, the evil corporate CEO (who kowtows to Jessica Delacourt), orders an underling to get Max out of the factory and to resume production operations immediately.  A humanoid robot is called in to clean up the mess. The robot gives Max some pills that will allow him to stay functional until he dies (and that will give him a boost in fight scenes that follow), then sends him home.

Max doesn't want to die. His only chance for survival, of course, is to sneak into Elysium for medical treatment. So he turns to Spider, an old crime cohort. Spider is a computer hack (with a very odd accent) who rules over a bunch of thugs. He runs an illegal operation that sends shuttle ships to Elysium so that desperately ill earthlings might get treatment from the cure-all machines that all Elysium residents have in their homes. The machines cure cancer, broken bones, old age, you name it.  Should a grenade blow off your face, the cure-all will provide a full facial reconstruction - you'll be made as good as new in just 60 seconds!

Max makes a deal with Spider for a trip to Elysium and Spider outfits Matt with an exoskeleton suit that boosts his physical strength so that he can cope with his weakened condition (and that will jazz up the fight scenes that follow, and that offers the entertainment of seeing the suit crudely installed onto Matt by thug medical techs). The deal calls for Max to download some data into his brain and then pass them on to Spider. The data, which are currently stored in Carlyle's brain for safe keeping, comprise a computer program that will reboot all of the systems at Elysium. This reboot is just what Jessica needs to pull off a coup and take control of Elysium.

Max puts together his plan to get the data from Carlyle.  He gets some thug help from Spider and gets an old buddy to help too.

There is action and fighting as Max and his team rob Carlyle of the contents of his brain, Max's buddy gets killed and Carlyle dies.  Jessica's thug, Kruger, captures Max, and also, by the way, captures Max's childhood sweetheart and her terminally ill 6 yr old daughter who's only chance for survival also rests on getting access to one of the cure-all machines. Kruger flies his captives to Elysium, then gets his face blown off. He is handily revived using one of the cure-all machines. Spider and his entourage shuttle up to join the crowd. More action and fighting ensue.

Max eventually wins, well kind of. Kruger is killed - for keeps this time. Max and Spider download the reboot program into the Elysium computer and then activate it. Spider takes the opportunity to change the code line "earthlings = non-citizens" to "earthlings = citizens". The little girl gets cured. All of the humanoid robots now do only good for earthlings. Emergency medical shuttles loaded with cure-alls are dispatched immediately to the Earth and the humanoid robots start treating the needy.
   

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The technology of the Elysium future is nonsensical fiction, not science fiction. Besides the cure-alls, the other big inventions of the future are Elysium, the shuttles and the exoskeletons.

Elysium is a ring with a flat inside surface that is maybe 1 mile in width.  It makes sense that the ring is spun in order to generate forces to hold things (lakes, buildings and trees) "down" to its inside surface. And it makes sense that there are walls at the edges of its inside surface to keep people from falling off. But there is no top! There must be some undisclosed invention of the future that is used to keep the atmosphere from escaping, while allowing the shuttles to fly in and out without issue.

Each of the shuttles is about the size of a school bus. They take off and land vertically. The shuttles readily travel back and forth between Earth and Elysium in about 10 minutes time - clearly someone has invented anti-gravity by the year 2154.

Max's exoskeleton is attached by a thug med tech using a power tool to drive two inch screws into Max's bones. Because the screws are driven right through his clothing, as well as through his skin and flesh, Max can't change his t-shirt through the rest of the movie. Need more be said?